cabaret_darling

I came across this screenplay that I was working on a couple of months back. I had only written three or four scenes, I think, but I liked what I had so far. I don't know what will ever come of it. It definitely wouldn't be able to see the light of day until college. For one, the content would be "inappropriate" for a high school classroom and for another I'd need actors who could actually, well....act. I don't mean for that to sound cruel or as a stab in any way towards high school actors. Hell, I'm one! It's just that nearly the entire screenplay depends on subtle movements and glances rather than dialogue. In fact, for ever one page I wrote of dialogue, there would be about 5 pages that I had written of direction. I'm so anal about some things. It's like, I can see in my head exactly what I want the actors to say, how I want them to move, practically down to breathing. I had considered, because it was so detailed, on creating a short story out of it instead, but there are a few problems with that. One of these problems is the fact I would need to write down what the characters were thinking, and part of the charm (at least in my opinion) of this screenplay is that the viewer doesn't. He/she needs to come up with their own assumptions on what the characters are feeling, thinking, and especially, what they really mean in those short, vague sentences of dialogue. 
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I sometimes wonder why I even bother writing these things at all. Like the play, Human Relations, that I wrote last year. I had several people read through it, including my drama teacher, and they all really liked it and were totally supportive of being involved with it when I was done editing it. But, of course, nothing would ever come of it. Why? Because it would be considered too "mature". Not because of the language (there's hardly any swearing) and not because of any sexual content (nothing is ever explicitly described or acted out). No, it's simply because a high school audience and their parents wouldn't be able to handle a play about a homosexual teenage boy. How stupid is that? And even if I had been able to put it on, who would I ever get to play the main character? Or his crush, who appears in only one scene, with an optional kiss. Teenage boys are simply not secure enough in their own sexuality to portray a gay character. They wouldn't even audition. Not that there are many boys that are involved with drama in our high school, anyway. But back to the point, nothing will ever come of that play, just as I'm certain that nothing will come of this screenplay that I'm writing. I'm not majoring or even minoring in film when I get to college. And though I will be minoring in theatre, I don't know if filmmaking will be in any part of that. 
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Of course, I suppose that if I don't express myself creatively one way or another I'd go insane. Literally. And as useful as that can be when writing, there's that whole bothersome bit of other people interfering. I could never just hermit myself up, alone, and come out a year later with the next great novel. I would end up clawing at the walls and sending up smoke signals by the second week. I need human contact, even if just to observe. No, I take that back. I need to actually interact with another human being in some way or another at least every couple of days or else I just feel sick. I think that's how it is for most people in urban areas, though. God forbid I ever move to the country. I think I'd hang myself.